A Sigh of Relief

We made it to the second trimester! Now we can breath a lot more easily :) Not that we were worried, but once you get to this point the risk of miscarriage decreases by like 98% or something like that.

We had another doctor's appointment this morning, and we got to hear the heart beat this time! It was so cool. I'm a low risk pregnancy, and haven't been too concerned about complications, but that additional conformation brings me a sigh of relief.

Being my first baby, everything is so new. I've read about everything you can read, and I feel pretty "book" smart about the whole thing, but the reality is, everyone's body is different, and my curiosity is peaking. I feel like the last 2 weeks have been so calm. I haven't noticed any changes at all, which is so different to the weeks before when it seemed as though every day was different. I'm so anxious, for lack of a better word, to experience the next step in all of this. Within the next 4 weeks I know that my belly is going to change dramatically. I'm showing a little now (I'll start taking weekly pictures here soon), but I know that by the end of the month it will really be visually obvious that I'm pregnant, and haven't just been eating too many doughnuts ;) I'm really excited for that part.

All my co-workers with kids are telling me that this is also when I should start trying to pay attention to my belly and see if I notice all the little movements my little angel is making. Baby was very active this morning as we were listening to the heartbeat, which is so exciting to me. I can't wait until I'm noticing those movements. On the other hand, I'm kind of weirded out by the whole idea of feeling baby move. I can't help but think of cheesy sci-fi movies with parasites or aliens living inside someone and literally "crawling" beneath their skin. In my head I know this will be a cool thing, not a icky thing, but my imagination likes to get away with me sometimes.

Thankfully this last week has been the beginning of getting my energy back. I haven't been as fatigued lately, and I've been much more cheery and productive at work. Not that I was slacking off, but I just feel like I've been getting more done and in a more organized fashion.

The other thing that has been boggling my mind lately is the mere fact of how connected my baby is to me already. Not that I'm feeling the connection as much as I'd like, but that my baby is feeling connected to me. I've read that by now baby has learned my voice and my heartbeat. This is so crazy to me. I think what's harder for me to wrap my mind around is the simple fact that these things about me will comfort the baby. I've never thought about the way that another person or thing will feel about me. I mean I do think about how people feel about me, but not like this. Even my little sister Molly, who's almost 2, is stand-offish with me sometimes. I know she knows me, though she probably doesn't know she loves me yet, but with my baby I'm going to have this other being who knows and recognizes me in every way. A person who is comforted by me and me alone in a way that no one else can. The love I feel has been overwhelming for me, but now I'm pondering about how that love will be reciprocated and that blows my mind almost more than anything else.

I feel like the annoying girl who ALWAYS talks about her baby/pregnancy, but I just can't help it. I daydream all the time about what life will be like in 6 short months when I can have my little angel in my arms. What it will feel like to breastfeed, what it will be like to have a connection that is unmatched by anything else on this planet. When you're going through something like this how can you not talk about it all the time? How can you not let it consume you? I hope that no one is getting fed up with me, I'm thinking it's only Jamal at this point, although he's just as excited as I am.

I'm hoping to have more to report more often now as bigger changes are on the way. Like I said before, I plan to start taking weekly belly pictures soon, and will get those on here at the least.

Pray for us... this journey is crazy, and not always easy, but it's the biggest blessing of our lives and I'm so happy to share it with all of you.